If you're contemplating divorce or suspect your spouse may be planning to file, preparation is crucial. As a family law attorney with over 22 years of experience, I've seen clients who were well-prepared navigate their divorce more smoothly, while others faced unnecessary complications because they didn't take the right steps early on.

Whether you're the one initiating the divorce or you anticipate it coming from your spouse, here's what you need to know to protect yourself, your finances, and your legal rights.

Critical Steps to Take Before Divorce

1. Secure Your Digital Presence

One of the first and most important steps is to change all your personal passwords. This includes:

Online banking and investment accounts
Retirement account portals
Email accounts
Social media platforms

Why is this so critical? I've worked with clients whose spouses accessed their accounts to monitor communications, transfer funds, sell investments, or even lock them out by changing passwords. Protecting your digital access prevents these complications and maintains your privacy during an already difficult time.

2. Gather Financial Documentation

Many clients have been blindsided when their spouse suddenly moved out and took all the important financial records with them. To avoid finding yourself in this situation, start collecting copies of essential documents now.

Your divorce preparation checklist should include:

Tax and Income Documents:

Five years of tax returns (both personal and business)
Six months of recent paystubs for you and your spouse (if accessible)

Financial Statements:

Bank account statements
Credit card statements
Investment and retirement account statements
Mortgage statements and loan documents

Property and Insurance:

Real estate title documents
Home, auto, and life insurance policies
Vehicle titles and registration

Other Important Records:

Basic utility bills to establish household expenses
Estate planning documents (wills, trusts, powers of attorney)
Any other financial documents relevant to your marital assets

Make copies of everything and provide them to your attorney. These documents will be essential for full financial disclosure during the divorce process.

What NOT to Do When Preparing for Divorce

Avoid Financial Missteps

Don't go on spending sprees. It's tempting to make large purchases before things get complicated, but running up credit card bills or draining accounts can seriously damage your case and your credibility with the court.

Don't divert money from joint accounts without legal guidance. While you may be concerned about your spouse depleting shared accounts, taking unilateral action can backfire. If you're worried about this scenario or need funds for attorney's fees or moving expenses, discuss your options with a family law attorney first.

Don't pay off marital debt before filing. While this might seem like a responsible move, paying down joint debt before divorce can have unintended negative consequences depending on your circumstances. This decision should be made strategically with legal advice.

Protect Yourself on Social Media

Social media can be a minefield during divorce proceedings. Here's what to avoid:

Don't launch a social media campaign against your spouse. Venting frustrations online might feel cathartic, but anything you post can be saved, printed, and presented in court. These posts can undermine your credibility and damage your case.

Don't discuss your divorce publicly. Keep details of your separation, settlement discussions, and feelings about your spouse off social media platforms entirely. Privacy is your friend during this process.

Be Cautious with Agreements

Never sign anything without consulting your attorney. Even if you and your spouse are having productive conversations about settlement, don't put anything in writing without legal review. This includes:

Informal written agreements
Email confirmations of verbal discussions
Handwritten notes about asset division

Depending on the circumstances, these informal documents may be construed as binding agreements, leaving you stuck with terms that aren't in your best interest. While it's absolutely okay—and often beneficial—to have settlement discussions with your spouse, always have your attorney review any written agreements before signing.

Don't Alter Retirement Contributions

If you're currently making regular contributions to retirement accounts, continue doing so even if divorce is on the horizon. Stopping or changing these contributions can negatively affect child support calculations and may raise questions about your financial behavior during the divorce process.

The Importance of Legal Guidance

While this guidance provides a foundation for divorce preparation, every situation is unique. What works for one couple may not be appropriate for another. That's why consulting with an experienced family law attorney early in the process is invaluable.

An attorney can help you:

Understand your rights and obligations under your state's laws
Develop a strategy tailored to your specific circumstances
Avoid costly mistakes that could affect your settlement
Navigate complex financial and custody issues
Protect your interests throughout the process

Moving Forward

Divorce is never easy, but being prepared can help you navigate the process more confidently and protect your interests. By taking proactive steps to secure your accounts, gather documentation, and avoid common pitfalls, you'll be in a stronger position as you move forward.

Remember: preparation doesn't mean being adversarial. Many couples are able to reach amicable settlements through negotiation or mediation. However, protecting yourself and understanding your rights ensures that any agreement you reach is fair and informed.

If you're facing divorce, don't wait until you're served with papers to start preparing. The steps you take now can make a significant difference in both the process and the outcome.

About the Author: Tatiana Gidirimski is a family law attorney with over 22 years of experience helping clients navigate divorce and family law matters.

Disclaimer: This article provides general legal information and does not constitute legal advice. Laws vary by state, and every divorce case is unique. Consult with a qualified family law attorney in your jurisdiction for advice specific to your situation.