One of the biggest concerns people have about divorce is the cost. Legal fees can add up quickly, and many people worry about whether they can afford quality representation. The good news? You have significant control over how much your divorce costs.
Attorney Tatiana Gidirimsky, with 22 years of family law experience, has seen firsthand which client behaviors lead to reasonable legal fees and which behaviors cause costs to spiral out of control. Here are four proven strategies to keep your divorce costs down while still protecting your interests and getting excellent legal representation.
Strategy 1: Do the Legwork Yourself – Document Collection and Organization
One of the easiest and most effective ways to save money on attorney fees is to handle document collection and organization yourself. This might not sound glamorous, but it can save you hundreds or even thousands of dollars.
What Your Attorney Needs From You
At the beginning of your divorce case, your attorney will ask you to provide various financial and personal documents, including:
Financial Statements:
Bank statements (typically 6 months to 2 years)
Credit card statements
Investment and retirement account statements
Mortgage statements
Loan documents
Income Documentation:
Pay stubs (recent and year-to-date)
W-2 forms (typically 2 years)
Tax returns (typically 2 years, including all schedules)
1099 forms if you're self-employed or have other income
Business financial statements if applicable
Property Documentation:
Real estate deeds and valuations
Vehicle titles and registrations
Personal property lists
Insurance policies
Other Documents:
Retirement account statements
Stock certificates or brokerage statements
Debt documentation
Healthcare and insurance information
Why This Matters
When your attorney or their paralegal has to track down these documents, you're paying their hourly rate for administrative work. An experienced paralegal might charge $150-200 per hour. Your attorney might charge $300-500+ per hour.
If your attorney or paralegal spends 5 hours gathering documents you could have collected yourself, that's potentially $750-$2,500 in fees—just for document collection.
How to Save Money on Document Collection
Be Thorough: When your attorney asks for bank statements, provide complete statements for all accounts and all requested months. Don't make them come back to you multiple times asking for missing months or accounts you forgot to mention.
Be Quick: The sooner you provide documents, the faster your case can progress. Delays cost money because your attorney may need to file extensions or take other actions while waiting for information.
Be Organized: Don't just dump a box of random papers on your attorney's desk. Organize documents by category and date. Label things clearly. This reduces the time your attorney spends sorting through materials.
Be Complete: If you know you have a retirement account, don't wait for your attorney to ask specifically about it. Provide information about all your assets and debts upfront.
The Time Investment Is Worth It
Yes, collecting these documents is tedious. You'll spend hours logging into online accounts, downloading statements, requesting documents from banks or employers, and organizing everything. But this is time you can do on your own schedule, at no cost except your time.
Compare this to paying someone $200-400+ per hour to do the same work, and the value proposition becomes clear. A few evenings spent gathering documents can save you thousands in legal fees.
Pro Tips for Document Management
Create a folder system (physical or digital) organized by category
Keep a master list of all documents you've provided to your attorney
Make copies of everything before providing originals
Save digital copies of all documents in cloud storage or on a backup drive
When in doubt about whether a document is relevant, include it—your attorney can determine what's needed
Strategy 2: Take Ownership of Discovery Responses
Discovery is the formal process where both sides exchange information and documents during divorce proceedings. It's also one of the most time-consuming and expensive parts of the divorce process. Taking an active role in responding to discovery can save you literally thousands of dollars.
What Is Discovery?
Discovery typically involves:
Interrogatories: Written questions you must answer under oath about finances, assets, employment, relationships, and other relevant topics
Requests for Production of Documents: Formal requests for specific documents, records, and materials
Requests for Admission: Statements you must admit or deny
Depositions: In-person questioning under oath (though you'll still want your attorney present)
Why Discovery Is So Expensive
Discovery responses are incredibly time-consuming. Here's why:
Attorney Gidirimsky has an experienced, efficient paralegal who handles discovery responses day in and day out—it's a significant part of what she does. Even with her expertise, responding to discovery requests is one of the most time-consuming tasks in a divorce case.
After the paralegal completes the responses, the attorney must review everything to ensure accuracy. This means you're paying for both paralegal time and attorney review time.
A typical discovery request might be 100 pages long with dozens of detailed questions. Some questions seem invasive or irrelevant, but they must be answered (unless your attorney determines they're legally improper).
The Cost of Having Your Attorney Handle Discovery
If your attorney and paralegal handle discovery responses with minimal input from you:
Paralegal time: 10-20 hours at $150-200/hour = $1,500-$4,000
Attorney review time: 3-5 hours at $300-500/hour = $900-$2,500
Total: $2,400-$6,500 or more
How to Save Thousands on Discovery
Instead of having your legal team do all this work, you can:
Read through all the discovery requests carefully
Draft thorough, organized responses to each question
Gather all requested documents
Organize everything clearly for your attorney's review
Let your attorney review, edit, and determine which questions are improper
By doing the bulk of the work yourself, you might reduce the cost to:
Your time: Unpaid (though significant)
Attorney review and editing: 2-3 hours at $300-500/hour = $600-$1,500
Savings: $1,800-$5,000+
Yes, It's Daunting—But Worth It
Attorney Gidirimsky acknowledges that clients really don't like responding to discovery, and for good reason. When you receive a 100-page document asking intensely personal questions about your finances, relationships, spending habits, and more, it can feel overwhelming.
Many questions seem too personal or irrelevant. You might wonder why the other side needs to know about specific purchases you made, people you've dated, or details about your lifestyle.
But here's the reality: Most of these questions are legally permissible, and they must be answered. Fighting about which questions to answer often costs more than just answering them.
How to Approach Discovery Responses
Set Aside Dedicated Time: Don't try to squeeze discovery responses between other tasks. Block out several hours (or multiple sessions) to focus on this work.
Be Thorough: Incomplete responses just mean you'll have to supplement them later, wasting more time and money.
Be Honest: Everything you write is under oath. False statements can destroy your credibility and your case.
Be Organized: Structure your responses clearly so your attorney can easily review them.
Consult Your Attorney: If you're unsure how to answer a question, ask. But don't use your attorney as a ghostwriter for responses you can draft yourself.
Focus on Facts: Keep responses factual and unemotional. Save the emotional processing for your therapist.
When Your Attorney Should Handle It
There are situations where your attorney should take the lead:
Questions involving complex legal concepts
Questions that may be legally improper or overly burdensome
Situations where your answer could have significant legal implications
When you genuinely don't understand what's being asked
Your attorney will guide you on which questions you can handle and which require more direct attorney involvement.
Strategy 3: Choose Your Battles Wisely
This might be the most important cost-saving strategy: not every issue is worth fighting over. Understanding which battles matter and which don't can save you tens of thousands of dollars.
Divorce as Business Negotiation
Attorney Gidirimsky makes an insightful point: in some respects, divorce is like a business negotiation where you can give and take based on what's important to you.
This mindset shift is crucial. If you approach divorce as "winning" or "beating" your ex on every single issue, you'll spend a fortune and likely still be unhappy with the outcome.
Instead, think strategically:
What truly matters for your future?
What are you willing to compromise on?
Where should you hold firm?
What's the actual monetary or practical value of what you're fighting about?
What's Worth Fighting For
Focus your time, energy, and legal fees on issues that have significant, long-term impact:
Your Parenting Plan: This affects your relationship with your children for years to come. The custody schedule, decision-making authority, and parenting time are worth investing in legal representation to get right.
Major Asset Division: The division of significant assets like:
The family home
Retirement accounts (401(k)s, IRAs, pensions)
Investment accounts
Business interests
Real property
Significant Debt Allocation: How major debts are divided can affect your financial future for years.
Spousal Maintenance: If maintenance (alimony) is at issue, the amount and duration can have substantial long-term financial impact.
Child Support: Ensuring child support is calculated correctly matters for your children's well-being and your finances.
These are the issues where investing in legal fees makes sense because the stakes are high and the outcomes have lasting consequences.
What's Usually Not Worth Fighting Over
Personal Property: Furniture, kitchen items, decorations, small electronics, and other household goods typically have minimal resale value, even if they have sentimental value.
Think about it this way: that couch you're fighting over might have cost $2,000 new, but it's now worth maybe $200-500 used. If you spend 5 hours of attorney time (at $300-500/hour) fighting over it, you're paying $1,500-2,500 in legal fees to argue about something worth a fraction of that.
Examples of items often not worth fighting over:
Furniture (couches, chairs, tables)
Kitchen items and small appliances
Decorations and artwork (unless highly valuable)
Books, DVDs, and other media
Linens, towels, and household goods
Garden equipment and tools (unless expensive)
The Better Approach: Divide personal property amicably or agree to let one party keep the contents of the home and compensate the other party with a reasonable amount. You can replace a couch much more cheaply than you can pay for attorney fees to fight over it.
Minor Financial Disputes
Sometimes couples fight over relatively small amounts of money—a few hundred or even a few thousand dollars—spending far more in legal fees than the disputed amount.
Before instructing your attorney to fight over an issue, ask yourself:
What is the actual dollar amount in dispute?
How much will it cost in legal fees to litigate this issue?
Is winning this particular point worth the cost?
If you're spending $3,000 in legal fees to fight over $1,500, you're not winning—you're losing, even if the court rules in your favor.
The Strategic Approach
Smart divorce negotiation involves:
Prioritizing: Make a list of your must-haves, nice-to-haves, and things you can easily concede.
Trading: Offer to concede on issues that matter less to you in exchange for what matters more. "You can have the furniture if I keep the [retirement account / larger share of home equity / whatever matters to you]."
Keeping Perspective: Remember that the goal is to move forward with your life, not to "win" divorce. Sometimes "losing" a minor battle saves you money and stress.
Thinking Long-Term: Will this issue matter in five years? If not, it's probably not worth fighting about today.
Strategy 4: Avoid Unnecessary Conflict and Choose De-escalation
Your relationship and interactions with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse have a direct impact on your legal fees. The more conflict, the higher the costs.
Cooperation Saves Money
In most cases, cooperating with your spouse on at least some issues will save you significant money. This doesn't mean being a doormat or giving in on important matters. It means:
Responding reasonably to reasonable requests
Being flexible when flexibility doesn't harm your interests
Communicating civilly
Not creating conflict unnecessarily
Looking for areas of agreement
Being willing to compromise on less important issues
When Your Spouse Won't Cooperate
Attorney Gidirimsky acknowledges that cooperation takes two people. Sometimes you're dealing with a spouse who won't cooperate themselves—someone who wants to escalate every issue, fight about everything, and make the process as difficult as possible.
In those situations, you can't force cooperation. But you can still control your own behavior and reactions.
The Cost of Reacting to Every Provocation
Here's a common pattern that drives up legal fees:
Your ex sends a spiteful email or makes an unreasonable demand
You become angry and immediately contact your attorney
You ask your attorney to write a strongly-worded letter in response
Your ex responds with another nasty communication
You instruct your attorney to respond again
The cycle continues
Each round in this cycle costs you hundreds or thousands in attorney fees.
A single strongly-worded letter from your attorney might cost $500-1,500 in legal fees. If this happens multiple times per month, you're spending thousands on exchanges that accomplish nothing except increasing conflict and attorney fees.
Strategic De-escalation
Even when dealing with a difficult ex, you can choose de-escalation strategies:
Don't Respond Immediately: When you receive a provocative email or message, resist the urge to respond right away. Sleep on it. Discuss it with your therapist. Wait until you can respond calmly—or decide not to respond at all.
Pick Your Responses: You don't need to respond to every nasty comment or petty disagreement. Ask yourself: "Is responding to this worth the attorney fees it will cost?"
Use Written Communication Thoughtfully: When you do need to respond, consider whether you can handle it directly (a brief, factual email) rather than having your attorney draft formal correspondence.
Focus on Important Issues: Save your attorney's time (and your money) for issues that actually matter, not for responding to every slight or annoyance.
Document Without Reacting: You can document problematic behavior (save emails, texts, etc.) without responding to or engaging with it. Your attorney can use this documentation if it becomes relevant, but you don't need to respond to everything in the moment.
Take the High Road: It's cliché but true—taking the high road costs less and serves you better. Let your ex's attorney see the contrast between your reasonable communications and your ex's inflammatory ones.
The Business Approach
Try to approach communications and negotiations from a business perspective rather than an emotional one:
Keep communications brief and factual
Focus on solving problems, not assigning blame
Avoid inflammatory language
Don't engage with emotional provocations
Treat interactions like business negotiations
This approach naturally reduces conflict and the resulting legal fees.
Bonus Strategy: Work with a Mental Health Counselor
Attorney Gidirimsky emphasizes this final point because it's often overlooked but incredibly important: having a good therapist or mental health counselor during your divorce can actually save you money on attorney fees.
Why Therapy Saves Legal Fees
Divorce is Extraordinarily Stressful: Especially in the early stages, divorce triggers intense emotions—grief, anger, fear, anxiety, betrayal. These emotions are normal and valid.
Your Attorney Is Not Your Therapist: Attorneys charge $300-500+ per hour. Therapists typically charge $100-200 per hour (often covered at least partially by insurance). Using your attorney as an emotional support system is an expensive mistake.
Emotional Clarity Leads to Better Decisions: When you're working through your emotions with a therapist, you come to attorney meetings with a clearer head and better understanding of your actual priorities.
Therapy Helps You Choose Battles: With better emotional regulation, you're less likely to want to fight over minor issues out of anger or hurt. You can focus on what truly matters.
You'll Communicate More Efficiently: Instead of lengthy, emotional calls with your attorney, you can have focused, productive conversations about strategy and legal issues.
The Math
Consider this comparison:
Without Therapy:
Regular emotional/venting calls with attorney: 2 hours/month × $400/hour = $800/month
Poor decision-making leading to unnecessary disputes: Could cost thousands
Time spent processing emotions instead of focusing on legal strategy: Inefficient use of expensive attorney time
With Therapy:
Weekly therapy sessions: 4 hours/month × $150/hour = $600/month (possibly less with insurance)
Focused attorney conversations about strategy: More efficient use of legal time
Better decision-making: Fewer unnecessary disputes
Potential net savings: Hundreds or thousands per month
Finding the Right Therapist
Look for:
A therapist experienced with divorce and family transitions
Someone who helps you process emotions while also helping you move forward
A therapist who encourages healthy coping strategies, not rumination or revenge
Someone who helps you focus on your children's needs (if applicable)
What to Work on in Therapy
Processing the end of your marriage
Managing intense emotions (anger, grief, anxiety)
Developing coping strategies for stressful situations
Clarifying your priorities and values
Building emotional resilience
Co-parenting strategies
Planning for your future
Maintaining boundaries with your ex
Therapy Isn't Weakness—It's Strategy
Some people resist therapy because they see it as a sign of weakness or failure. In reality, therapy during divorce is a smart strategic move that:
Protects your mental health
Helps you make better decisions
Saves you money on legal fees
Models healthy coping for your children
Prepares you for a healthier post-divorce life
Putting It All Together: Your Cost-Saving Action Plan
Here's how to implement these strategies:
Immediate Actions
Set up systems for document organization from day one of your case
Ask your attorney for a complete list of documents you'll need and start gathering them immediately
Research therapists and schedule an initial consultation
Create a priorities list of what matters most to you in the divorce
Ongoing Practices
Before contacting your attorney, ask yourself: "Is this worth the cost of their time?"
Batch your questions and send them in organized emails rather than calling about each issue separately
When you receive discovery requests, block out time to work on responses yourself
Before fighting about any issue, calculate whether the potential outcome is worth the legal fees
When your ex sends provocative communications, pause before responding and consider whether engagement is necessary
Maintain regular therapy sessions throughout the divorce process
Communication Best Practices
With Your Attorney:
Be organized and prepared for meetings
Send concise, clear emails
Respect their time
Ask substantive legal questions, not emotional ones
Follow their advice (or if you disagree, have a conversation about why)
With Your Ex:
Keep communications brief and factual
Use email or text for a paper trail
Don't engage with emotional provocations
Focus on problem-solving, not blame
Save the venting for your therapist
When NOT to Cut Costs
While controlling costs is important, there are times when spending money on legal representation is absolutely necessary:
Don't skimp on attorney fees when:
Complex legal issues are at stake
Your children's safety or wellbeing is at risk
Significant assets or debts are being divided
Your spouse has an attorney and you don't
Domestic violence or abuse is involved
Your spouse is hiding assets or income
Your case is going to trial
These situations require strong legal representation, and trying to save money by cutting corners can cost you far more in the long run.
The ROI of Strategic Cost Management
By implementing these four strategies, clients often save:
Strategy 1 (Document collection): $1,000-$3,000+
Strategy 2 (Discovery responses): $2,000-$5,000+
Strategy 3 (Choosing battles): $5,000-$20,000+
Strategy 4 (Avoiding conflict): $2,000-$10,000+
Bonus (Therapy instead of attorney time): $1,000-$5,000+
Total potential savings: $11,000-$43,000 or more
These aren't just theoretical numbers—these are real savings that organized, strategic clients achieve compared to those who don't follow these practices.
Common Questions About Controlling Divorce Costs
Will My Attorney Think I'm Difficult If I Try to Save Money?
Good attorneys appreciate organized, efficient clients who take initiative. They don't want to charge you for work you can do yourself.
How Do I Know If I'm Doing Too Much Myself?
Your attorney will tell you if you're taking on tasks that really require their expertise. Don't be afraid to ask: "Is this something I can handle, or do you need to do it?"
What If My Ex Isn't Trying to Control Costs?
You can't control your ex's spending, but you can control your own. Focus on your side of the equation.
Should I Fire My Attorney to Save Money?
Not if you have a good attorney. Instead, implement these strategies to work more efficiently with your existing attorney. Changing attorneys mid-case often costs more than it saves.
Can I Handle My Divorce Without an Attorney to Save Money?
For simple, uncontested divorces with no children and minimal assets, maybe. For most divorces, trying to save money by going without an attorney often results in costly mistakes that are expensive or impossible to fix later.
Moving Forward: Quality Representation at a Reasonable Cost
The goal isn't to have the cheapest divorce—it's to have the best outcome at a reasonable cost. By implementing these strategies, you can:
Get excellent legal representation
Protect your interests effectively
Keep costs under control
Focus resources on what truly matters
Move forward with your financial future intact
Remember: You have more control over your divorce costs than you might think. Taking an active, organized, strategic approach saves money while still protecting your interests.
Get Cost-Effective, High-Quality Representation
At Bucklin Evans Law Firm, we believe in providing excellent legal representation while respecting our clients' financial concerns. We work collaboratively with clients who take initiative, and we're always transparent about costs and strategies.
Our experienced family law team will:
Provide clear guidance on where you can save money
Work efficiently to minimize unnecessary fees
Focus on what matters most in your case
Give you honest advice about which battles are worth fighting
Respect your budget while protecting your interests
Contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn how we can help you navigate your divorce effectively and efficiently.
Disclaimer: This article provides general legal information and does not constitute legal advice. Laws vary by state, and every divorce case is unique. Consult with a qualified family law attorney in your jurisdiction for advice specific to your situation.