If you've never been to a family court hearing before, the prospect can feel overwhelming. What should you expect? How do you prepare? What happens if you make a mistake? At Bucklin Evans Law Firm, we believe that knowledge reduces anxiety. That's why attorney Tatiana Gidirimski, who has been practicing family law for 22 years, has created this comprehensive guide to help you understand the family court hearing process in Washington State.

What Exactly is a Family Court Hearing?

A family court hearing is a formal court proceeding where a judge or court commissioner listens to arguments and makes decisions about motions filed in your divorce or family law case. Think of it as the mechanism through which the court resolves disputes and issues orders during your case.

Unlike a trial, which is the final resolution of your entire case, hearings typically address specific, immediate issues that arise during the divorce process. These are often matters that can't wait until your case is finalized.

The Shift to Virtual Hearings

One significant change in recent years: approximately 99% of family court hearings in Washington State now take place via Zoom rather than in person. While this might seem less formal, make no mistake—these virtual hearings are every bit as official and important as traditional in-person court appearances.

You'll receive a Zoom link in your court documents that will allow you to join the hearing at the scheduled time. Multiple cases will be scheduled during the same session, and you'll need to wait until your case is called.

Understanding Motions: The Foundation of Every Hearing

Here's a critical point that many people don't understand: no hearing can take place without a motion being filed first.

What is a Motion?

A motion is simply a written document in which one party asks the court to take a specific action or make a particular decision. It's your formal request to the judge, explaining what you want and why you believe the court should grant your request.

Common Types of Family Law Motions

During the divorce process—particularly in what we call the "temporary orders stage" (Stage 2 of the divorce process)—common motions include:

Motion for Temporary Parenting Plan: Requesting a court order that establishes custody arrangements and parenting time while the divorce is pending

Motion for Child Support: Asking the court to order temporary child support payments

Motion for Spousal Maintenance: Requesting temporary alimony during the divorce proceedings

Motion for Attorney's Fees: Asking the court to order your spouse to pay some or all of your legal fees

Motion for Exclusive Use of Family Home: Requesting that the court grant you possession of the marital home and order your spouse to move out

Motion to Enforce Orders: Asking the court to enforce existing orders that your spouse is violating

Motion to Modify Orders: Requesting changes to temporary orders based on changed circumstances

Temporary vs. Final Orders

It's important to understand that motions during the divorce process typically seek temporary relief—orders that will remain in effect only until your divorce is finalized and final orders are entered. This allows you to establish stability and address urgent needs while your case works its way through the system.

How to Prepare for Your Family Court Hearing: A Step-by-Step Guide

Proper preparation is essential for a successful hearing outcome. Missing a step or failing to follow court rules can result in your hearing being continued (postponed), wasting your time and money.

Step 1: Reserve Your Court Hearing Date

In King County and many other Washington counties, you must reserve your hearing date in advance through the court's website before you even file your motion. This is a crucial first step that many self-represented litigants miss.

Why is this necessary? Courts face significant backlogs, and there simply aren't enough court commissioners to hear all the cases. By requiring advance reservations, courts can manage their calendars more effectively.

Pro tip: Check the court calendar early and often. Available dates can fill up quickly, and you may need to wait several weeks for an opening.

Step 2: Understand and Follow Local Court Rules

Each county in Washington State has its own local court rules in addition to statewide rules. These rules dictate:

Required document formats
Filing deadlines
What supporting documents must be included
How documents must be served on the other party
Specific requirements for different types of motions

Failure to follow these rules can be fatal to your motion. The court may refuse to hear your case or deny your request simply because you didn't comply with procedural requirements.

Step 3: Gather Required Financial Documents

If your motion requests any kind of financial relief (child support, spousal maintenance, attorney's fees, or any other financial order), Washington courts require specific documentation:

Six Months of Bank Statements: Complete statements for all checking, savings, and other financial accounts

Two Years of Tax Returns: Both federal and state returns, including all schedules and attachments

Financial Declaration: This is a mandatory court form where you detail your income, expenses, assets, and debts. It essentially presents your complete financial picture to the court.

Pay Stubs: Recent pay stubs showing year-to-date earnings

Proof of Other Income: Documentation of any rental income, business income, investment income, etc.

What Happens if You Don't Have These Documents?

The court commissioner will likely refuse to grant your requested relief and continue your hearing to a later date. This means:

You'll have to wait weeks or months for a new hearing date
You'll waste the court's time and your own
If you have an attorney, you'll pay for their preparation time twice
Your urgent issues remain unresolved for longer

Bottom line: Don't show up to a hearing without the required documents. It's that simple.

Step 4: Prepare Your Written Arguments

Remember that at the hearing itself, you can only argue about what was presented in writing beforehand. This means your written motion and supporting documents are absolutely critical.

Your written submission should include:

The motion itself, clearly stating what you're asking for
A declaration (sworn statement) explaining the facts that support your request
Any relevant evidence (texts, emails, photos, financial records, etc.)
A proposed order for the judge to sign if your motion is granted

If you're working with an attorney, they'll handle the preparation of these documents. If you're representing yourself, carefully review court forms and instructions, or consider hiring an attorney for "limited scope representation" to help with document preparation even if they don't appear at the hearing.

Step 5: Prepare Your Oral Argument

While your written documents do the heavy lifting, you'll also present a brief oral argument at the hearing. In King County, you typically have only five minutes to make your case.

How to use your five minutes effectively:

Focus on your strongest points—you can't cover everything
Organize your thoughts in advance (many attorneys use outlines or notes)
Speak clearly and at a moderate pace
Address the legal standards the court must apply
Remain calm and professional, even if you're nervous
Be prepared to answer questions from the judge

Practice your argument beforehand. Five minutes goes by quickly, and you don't want to ramble or forget your most important points.

What to Expect on Hearing Day

Understanding the flow of your hearing day can reduce anxiety and help you feel more prepared.

Joining the Zoom Hearing

Log in to the Zoom link provided in your court documents a few minutes before the scheduled start time. You'll enter a virtual waiting room along with attorneys and parties from numerous other cases.

Important: Make sure your technology works in advance. Test your camera, microphone, and internet connection. Have a backup plan (like a phone) in case your computer has issues.

Waiting for Your Case to Be Called

Here's something even experienced attorneys can't predict: the order in which cases will be called. The court staff member who assists the commissioner determines the order, and there's no apparent rhyme or reason to it.

This means you need to:

Be patient and stay logged in
Keep your attention on the hearing (don't multitask)
Be ready when your case is called—you may only get one chance
Remain professional even if the wait is long

Some hearings have 20 or more cases scheduled, so delays are common. Bring patience.

The Hearing Itself: Order of Proceedings

Once your case is called, the hearing follows a predictable structure:

1. The Moving Party Argues First: The person who filed the motion (or their attorney) presents their argument. This is your opportunity to explain why the court should grant your request. Remember: five minutes in King County.

2. The Responding Party Argues: The other side (or their attorney) presents their response, explaining why the court should deny the motion or grant it only in part.

3. Brief Rebuttal: The moving party gets a short opportunity to respond to any new points raised by the other side. Keep it brief and focused—don't simply repeat your initial argument.

4. Court's Decision: In approximately 99% of cases, the court commissioner makes a decision immediately after hearing arguments. However, in complex cases with difficult legal or factual issues, the commissioner may take the matter "under advisement" and issue a written decision within a few days.

The Court Has Read Your Documents

One reassuring fact: by the time of your hearing, the court commissioner will have read all the written materials submitted by both sides. Your five-minute argument doesn't have to cover everything—it should highlight your strongest points and respond to the other side's arguments.

This is why your written submissions are so critical. The judge knows the facts and legal arguments before you even start speaking.

The Court's Order

After the decision is made (whether immediately or in writing a few days later), it will be formalized in a court order signed by the judge or commissioner. This order is legally binding and must be followed by both parties.

If you prevail on your motion, the relief granted will remain in effect until your divorce is finalized and final orders are entered (or until the court modifies the temporary orders based on changed circumstances).

Essential Courtroom Etiquette for Family Court Hearings

Even though hearings now occur via Zoom, the same standards of courtroom decorum apply. The court takes these proceedings seriously, and you should too.

Dress Appropriately

Dress in business casual attire at minimum. Think about what you'd wear to an important job interview:

Men: Button-down shirt, slacks, possibly a tie
Women: Blouse and slacks, dress, or professional top
Avoid: T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, revealing clothing, or anything with slogans or graphics

Why does this matter? Your appearance signals respect for the court and the process. Judges and commissioners are human—they form impressions, and you want yours to be positive.

Maintain Professional Behavior

Do:

Address the judge as "Your Honor" or "Judge [Name]"
Speak only when it's your turn
Listen respectfully when others are speaking
Keep your composure even if you disagree or feel frustrated
Admit when you don't know an answer rather than making something up
Be honest in all your statements to the court

Don't:

Interrupt the other party or their attorney
Argue with the judge or talk back
Make faces, eye rolls, or other dismissive gestures when the other side is speaking
Eat, drink, or smoke during the hearing
Have distracting background noise (screaming children, barking dogs, TV)
Use your phone or appear distracted
Make personal attacks on the other party

Control Your Emotions

Family law matters are inherently emotional. You're dealing with your children, your home, your finances, and the dissolution of your marriage. It's natural to feel angry, hurt, or frustrated.

However, emotional outbursts in court never help your case and often hurt it significantly. Judges want to see that you can:

Remain calm under pressure
Act rationally in difficult situations
Put your children's needs ahead of your emotions
Follow rules and respect authority

If you feel yourself getting emotional during the hearing:

Take a deep breath
Pause before responding
Keep your tone even and measured
Focus on facts rather than feelings
Remember that the hearing is temporary—you'll get through it

The Virtual Courtroom is Still a Courtroom

Some people mistakenly believe that because hearings are on Zoom, they can be more casual. This is absolutely not the case. The court expects the same level of professionalism as if you were standing in a physical courtroom.

Choose an appropriate background for your video:

Plain wall or professional setting
Good lighting so your face is clearly visible
No distractions (other people walking by, inappropriate posters, etc.)
Quiet location where you won't be interrupted

Position your camera so you're looking at the judge when you speak, and ensure your face is clearly visible and well-lit.

Common Mistakes to Avoid at Family Court Hearings

Based on decades of experience, here are mistakes Attorney Gerimky has seen people make repeatedly:

1. Coming Unprepared

Showing up without required documents, without having read court rules, or without understanding what you're asking for is a recipe for failure.

2. Talking Too Much

In a five-minute argument window, less is more. Make your key points clearly and stop. Don't ramble, repeat yourself, or try to cover every detail.

3. Getting Emotional or Combative

Calling your spouse names, crying, or arguing with the judge will damage your credibility and your case.

4. Focusing on the Wrong Issues

Family court judges care about legal standards, not who was a better spouse or who started the conflict. Focus on the legal criteria the court must apply to your motion.

5. Violating Court Orders

If you have existing temporary orders in place, follow them to the letter. Judges take a very dim view of people who ignore court orders.

6. Making False Statements

Never lie to the court. Ever. Even small untruths can destroy your credibility for the entire case. If you made a mistake in written documents, correct it immediately rather than compounding the problem.

7. Bringing Up New Information at the Hearing

Remember: you can only argue what was in your written submissions. Don't try to introduce new facts or evidence at the hearing itself.

Should You Hire an Attorney for Your Hearing?

While you have the right to represent yourself in family court, having an experienced attorney can make a significant difference in your outcome.

What an Attorney Provides

Knowledge of Court Rules: Attorneys know the procedural requirements and won't make costly mistakes in document preparation or filing.

Persuasive Argument: Experienced family law attorneys know how to frame arguments in ways that resonate with judges and address the relevant legal standards.

Emotional Buffer: Your attorney can present your case calmly and professionally, even when emotions run high.

Strategic Advice: Attorneys can help you understand which battles are worth fighting and which aren't, potentially saving you money in the long run.

Courtroom Experience: If you've never been to court before, the process can be intimidating. Attorneys handle hearings regularly and know what to expect.

Limited Scope Representation

If you can't afford full representation, consider limited scope representation where an attorney helps with specific tasks like:

Preparing your motion and supporting documents
Reviewing documents prepared by the other side
Coaching you on your oral argument
Appearing at the hearing on your behalf for that single issue

This can provide significant value at a fraction of the cost of full representation throughout your case.

After the Hearing: What Comes Next?

Once the court issues its order, both parties must comply with it immediately unless the order specifies a different effective date.

If You Won Your Motion

Congratulations—but remember that temporary orders aren't permanent. They remain in effect until:

Your divorce is finalized and final orders are entered
The court modifies the temporary orders based on changed circumstances
The parties reach a settlement agreement that supersedes the temporary orders

Don't assume temporary orders will automatically become your final orders. Continue working toward a comprehensive settlement or trial preparation.

If You Lost Your Motion (or Got Only Partial Relief)

A disappointing hearing result doesn't mean your case is over. Consider:

Whether circumstances might change that would support a motion to modify
Whether the issues can be addressed in mediation or settlement negotiations
What you can do differently if you need to bring another motion
Whether the decision affects your overall strategy for the case

Discuss the results with your attorney to determine the best path forward.

Following the Court's Orders

Whether you're happy with the outcome or not, you must follow court orders. Violating court orders can result in:

Being held in contempt of court
Fines or other sanctions
Loss of credibility with the judge in future hearings
In extreme cases, jail time

If you genuinely cannot comply with an order due to changed circumstances, file a motion to modify rather than simply ignoring the order.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Family court hearings are a normal part of the divorce process, particularly when you need temporary relief while your case is pending. While they may seem intimidating at first, understanding the process, preparing thoroughly, and maintaining professional behavior will help you navigate them successfully.

Remember the key points:

No hearing without a motion
Follow local court rules precisely
Gather all required financial documents
Prepare concise, focused oral arguments
Maintain professional courtroom decorum, even on Zoom
Listen to your attorney's advice

Get the Legal Support You Deserve

Whether you're facing your first family court hearing or need experienced representation for a complex motion, Bucklin Evans Law Firm is here to help. Our family law team has decades of combined experience handling hearings in Washington State courts.

We understand that family court matters are personal, emotional, and often overwhelming. We're committed to providing knowledgeable, compassionate representation that protects your interests and helps you achieve the best possible outcome.

Disclaimer: This article provides general legal information and does not constitute legal advice. Laws vary by state, and every divorce case is unique. Consult with a qualified family law attorney in your jurisdiction for advice specific to your situation.